The Real Fault in Our Stars

Okay? Always.
Always? Okay.

Before we even start, I want you to remember this; life equals death.

I’m a logical person, always having to piece things together. I really, really, really have to have faith in something in order to believe it without seeing it. Death has visited me in the too-recent past. It’s something I should probably be over, the grieving already done, but I don’t think my process really matters in the overall context of this post. You see, I believe in death. Not the obvious “people die” side of it, but the spiritual gains of it all. Somewhere there’s a dark cloud of smoke(figuratively), traveling through immortal time, grabbing the souls of those no longer physically needed on this Earth. It’s a sick thing to believe in, and I’m sorry, but it fascinates me. All things must be controlled, sort of like the human brain. It literally has control over our being. So what, or rather who, controls death? Why does it have to happen? There’s all these questions, not actually to be explained. But relevant to the theory I proposed in the second paragraph of this post. life equals death

Moving on, I won’t lie. Dying scares me. I like to feel I have an understanding on the concept, back to the why. I hate to imagine that someone dies because there’s a piece of their character that needs to be placed into another. Someone, somewhere, needed something that they couldn’t just pick up and find on their own. Personal story? My Uncle passed away, and once I finally got over the “grieving period” (if there is such a thing,) I realized that I had more fight in me than I ever had before. Relate it to faith, relate it to logic, I don’t care. I write it because it helps me cope with the things I’m afraid of.

Which we can directly relate to my being afraid of death. Which I won’t lie to you, I am. I believe in a God, and a Heaven and an afterlife. I like to believe I’m going somewhere with people who love me. But I’m human, so I have a piece of doubt. You can’t help but wonder, what if the whole world goes black, & that’s it? It’s a possibility. My faith keeps me going, but it’s scary. But! We can’t spend our time worrying, which is why we must life each moment to the fullest.

Which I do. Granted, heights and speed aren’t my things, so I don’t really push myself over those limits, but I cherish the things as simple as a candid photo or a $3 cup of hot chocolate. Enjoy the people you meet, the places you visit and the books you read. Indulge on every tweet and conversation you have in class. Live for it. Live every stinking moment for it.

wait, what exactly is it?

Live your life to its fullest because at the end the same thing happens to all of us. I’m not saying it, you don’t say it. We can both just think it. We all know what happens. We all work for the same purpose. We go through this life trying to make a difference, trying to become successful, against all odds and with all twists and turns. We work so damn hard. We put so much fuel to the fire. We put out so many tears, so much sweat & all that blood-

…to what? Silence.

that’s the real fault in our stars

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